In an exclusive preview, HFN accessed a major hotel chain’s new advertising platform that uses AI to predict guest preferences down to favorite scents and pet peeves. The unnamed company plans to monetize every digital touchpoint, from card swipes to kiosk check-ins, because apparently no pixel should go un-monetized.
Restaurants are secretly manipulating background music tempo to increase table turnover by 23%, a new study reveals. Fast casual establishments pump beats 25 BPM faster than casual dining, while European restaurants blast music 60 BPM faster than Caribbean counterparts. Six out of ten restaurateurs admit hiring “acoustic consultants” for maximum seat rotation.
Downtown DC’s newest fine dining establishment charges guests $250 to prepare their own meals from raw ingredients. The “participatory gastronomy” concept gives diners 90 minutes to cook, plate, and consume their food using communal hot plates and basic equipment provided at each table.
Revolutionary DC Restaurant Charges $250 for Guests to Cook Their Own Meals Read More »
Planet Fitness announced their entry into hospitality with accommodations that literally work guests to the bone. Standard rooms feature resistance machines instead of beds, while rates decrease with documented calorie burn. Early beta testing saw one guest achieve negative room charges after vigorous treadmill sessions.
Planet Fitness Disrupts Hospitality with Revolutionary “Judgment-Free” Hotel Concept Read More »
Consulting firm Brantley & Wintle’s new hospitality white paper advocates “curated inconvenience” through check-in scavenger hunts, riddle-locked rooms, and fax-only support. They recommend rebranding housekeeping, installing deliberately broken AI, replacing loyalty points with “digital vibes,” and designing hotels around existential uncertainty. Industry veterans call it the “dumbest collection of advice” ever conceived.
Des Moines hospitality chain unveils $200 million “World’s Most Accessible Resort” featuring no stairs, only gentle hills; oversized TV remotes; doorways wider than airplane hangars; and furniture resembling padded playground equipment. The ultra-defensive design eliminates all sharp edges and potential hazards, creating what guests describe as vacationing inside a liability attorney’s fever dream.
Ultra-Safe Iowa Resort Eliminates All Potential Hazards After Decades of Lawsuits Read More »
Fast food customers are demanding more robot service, complaining that human staff are too distracted by profit margins and energy costs. Guests believe robots offer more genuine care since they’re programmed with one mission: customer satisfaction, not quarterly earnings targets.
A casino lost $1.4 million due to a software glitch, a known issue released despite the risk. Miraculously, a senior citizen group playing nickel slots recouped the losses within minutes, highlighting both the unpredictable nature of tech and the enduring power of grandma’s luck.
Casino Glitch Costs $1.4 Million, Then Senior Citizens Save the Day Read More »
A bombshell investigation reveals hotel WiFi captive portals serve no legitimate purpose, exposing a years-long deception by lobbyists and marketing firms. As the hospitality industry grapples with removing these unnecessary digital barriers, experts warn that functional internet access could create new problems for guest engagement and network infrastructure.
Globetrotter Hotels spins off its pool division, Aqua-Nirvana Inc., promising revolutionary poolside experiences under the leadership of a former putt-putt and bowling alley CEO. Expect drone shows, AR slides, and personalized waves – the future of aquatic recreation is here!
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