In an exclusive preview, HFN accessed a major hotel chain’s new advertising platform that uses AI to predict guest preferences down to favorite scents and pet peeves. The unnamed company plans to monetize every digital touchpoint, from card swipes to kiosk check-ins, because apparently no pixel should go un-monetized.
India’s hospitality sector has discovered a lucrative revenue stream through fake Indian wedding events. Hotels report 40% higher profits from ticketed matrimonial experiences where guests pay ₹1,500-5,000 to attend elaborate sangeet parties without actual marriages. Major chains are creating dedicated “Celebration Without Commitment” divisions, monetizing the fear of commitment itself.
HospitalityFN has secured exclusive streaming rights to the 2025 Housekeeping Olympics, where geo-political tensions threaten to disrupt US teams including The Dust Bunnies Union and “Bleach, Please.” International powerhouses Tokyo Tidy Squad and French Pressers promise fierce competition in this year’s most anticipated hospitality sporting event.
Planet Fitness announced their entry into hospitality with accommodations that literally work guests to the bone. Standard rooms feature resistance machines instead of beds, while rates decrease with documented calorie burn. Early beta testing saw one guest achieve negative room charges after vigorous treadmill sessions.
Planet Fitness Disrupts Hospitality with Revolutionary “Judgment-Free” Hotel Concept Read More »
Major ISPs are courting hotels with plans to purchase unused network bandwidth, creating a new revenue stream that—miraculously—doesn’t directly charge guests. Hotel operators are calling it “the most innovative profit center since resort fees,” though some worry it signals the end of truly unlimited data for hospitality guests.
Consulting firm Brantley & Wintle’s new hospitality white paper advocates “curated inconvenience” through check-in scavenger hunts, riddle-locked rooms, and fax-only support. They recommend rebranding housekeeping, installing deliberately broken AI, replacing loyalty points with “digital vibes,” and designing hotels around existential uncertainty. Industry veterans call it the “dumbest collection of advice” ever conceived.
“I know exactly what you want based on your haircut and facial hair,” explains hotel front desk agent Jessica Chen. “Clean fade with well-groomed beard? Corner suite. Overgrown man-bun with patchy facial hair? You’re lucky if I don’t accidentally put you next to the elevator shaft.”
MIT Professor Dr. Millicent Kravitz’s groundbreaking research reveals hotels with optimal RevPAR levels between $89-$127 trigger unconscious weight loss in guests. Her study of 47,000 travelers shows they burn 340 additional calories daily through increased movement, losing an average of 2.3 pounds during three-night stays at revenue-optimized properties.
Professor Explains the Metabolic Magic of RevPAR Read More »
Des Moines hospitality chain unveils $200 million “World’s Most Accessible Resort” featuring no stairs, only gentle hills; oversized TV remotes; doorways wider than airplane hangars; and furniture resembling padded playground equipment. The ultra-defensive design eliminates all sharp edges and potential hazards, creating what guests describe as vacationing inside a liability attorney’s fever dream.
Ultra-Safe Iowa Resort Eliminates All Potential Hazards After Decades of Lawsuits Read More »
A resourceful extended stay hotel guest turned entrepreneur by subletting his suite on a vacation rental platform to avoid cancellation fees. The secondary guest was thrilled with the unexpected amenities—daily housekeeping, front desk service, and complimentary breakfast—that typical vacation rentals don’t offer.
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