MIAMI BEACH, FL — In a move that has left industry analysts scratching their heads (and possibly their goggles), Globetrotter Hotels announced today the spin-off of its pool management division, ‘Aqua-Nirvana Inc.’
For years, Globetrotter has boldly claimed the title of “#1 Pool Operator in the World,” a claim that remains as verifiable as the existence of the Loch Ness Monster.
Leading Aqua-Nirvana is CEO Chad Worthington, formerly of ‘Putt-Perfect Par 3’ and ‘Strike Zone Bowling,’ whose experience transforming ‘underwhelming leisure activities’ is, apparently, perfectly transferable to the world of aquatic recreation.
Worthington promises a revolution in swimming experiences. “Forget your tired old chlorine and towels,” he declared in a press release featuring a stock photo of a dolphin inexplicably wearing a tiny business suit. “We’re talking a complete elevation of the arrival, in-pool, and drying-off guest experience. We are more than an amenity. We will redefine the very essence of pool time!”
The company’s ambitious goals include achieving a 300% increase in poolside selfie-taking and the development of a revolutionary new pool noodle that ‘redefines relaxation.’
Early investors are reportedly wagering on the success of ‘Aqua-Nirvana,’ citing the ever-growing demand for unique guest experiences and the undeniable allure of a potentially lucrative market in underwater NFTs.
Expect more disruptive news from the revolutionary world of hotel pool management.